Our primary responsibility as a parents is to prepare our children for their journey from home. My kids have taught me three steps in the process.

Children are born dreaming. Initially they do not distinguish between their inner and outer realities. We who are parents need to assist our children in the transition from their dream world into day to day reality. A child intuitively knows this task awaits. The idea of leaving the dream frightens the child. We must give our children something while they are in the dream state that they can hang on to as they develop their waking consciousness.

Often this object is some sort of doll or stuffed animal, sometimes it's a blanket. Whatever it is, we can call it a tool, a tool that helps the child carry the power of his or her imagination into daily life. Such tools become symbols that call the power of the imagination to action. At first they are magical instruments capable of fantastic deeds, like slaying dragons. Later they become instruments that can transform the world around us to conform to our imagination. The first tool I made my son, Julian, was a magic sword. Slowly I introduced real tools with specific functions.

I made sure Julian witnessed me making his magic sword with my real tools. He saw me transform a section of a mahogany door jam into the sword.

The second step is simultaneous, not sequential. We parents must assure our children that they have secure homes. A safe and peaceful home is a solid launch pad for a constructive life. But it is not enough. Your children will tell you this. They want to build their own home. This urge is a metaphorical statement that can inform us of what our kids need and appreciate. Julian and I have worked side by side in the construction of numerous homes. This is his tree fort.

Once a secure home is established, a child has the confidence to journey forth. Children innately recognize this journey as the principal task in their evolution from dependants in a family to constructive individuals in a larger community. As the task of this journey dawns on your child, you'll notice a heightened interest in vehicles capable of carrying them to distant places. My son always envisioned his voyage in boats. Here you see him in one of the first and most primitive boats we built on the edge of the lake beside our house. And in this photograph you see Julian and me with the director of the Minnesota Museum of American Art for whom we built this spacecraft.

Stories are the glue that bind these lessons together. Stories allow us to carry and convey the valuable lessons of our experience. For many years I invented long bedtime stories that reflected my son's position in his development. I also took a cue from the Native American Indians, some of whom made story blankets to commemorate the passage of time. I take notes during the year of key events and combine them in stories descriptive of that year. I give these stories to my son after the year passes. Stories make our dreams real and the real magical.

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